Author: Bella

Bringing you all the news from the village

Farmyard News

14 March 2008

Issue 49

Grandma Goes Through Roof!

Also in this issue:
Football fan greets hero with a punch
Popstar sings her last lullaby
Policeman arrested for false claims
A new law is passed on litter
‘Watching TV is bad for our children’ new report claims
Animals on the run!

Inside this issue:

News	2
Celebrity gossip	4
Politics	6
World News	8
Music	9
Television Listings	12
Sport	15

An eight year old boy from Yorkshire has concocted a marvelous medicine from ingredients in his house, that has made his Grandma go through the roof.
George Killy Kranky, who lives in a farmhouse with his parents, decided to make the potion because he was fed up of his Grandma’s moaning.
“She kept telling me that I should stop growing” said the school boy.
“I was fed up of her ordering me around, so I decided to teach her a lesson”
Whilst his parents were out, George made his magic mixture from ingredients he found in the kitchen, bathroom and garage.
After boiling his discoveries in a pan, which included pigs tablets and brown paint, he fed the liquid to his elderly Grandma, concealing it as her normal medicine. Ethel Kranky (87), took the medicine which had immediate results. Almost instantly, she shot into the air and started growing until she went through the roof! Witnesses say she is now as tall as eighteen double decker buses.
“It’s extraordinary” stated the pensioner, who has not left her chair for five years.
“I don’t know whether to kiss George, or strangle him.”
George has admitted that he is not sure how the spell worked, but that he is willing to re-create the mixture for business purposes. His father, Steven Killy-Kranky is interested in marketing the medicine to the farming industry.
Mrs Kranky is currently still in the roof, but fire-fighters have been in talks about her removal. George has been taken into custody for questioning and will be released later today.

George made the medicine in his own kitchen

“I don’t know whether to kiss George or strangle him”
Ethel Kranky